“That hurt! I’m offended! I’ll forgive, but you won’t burn me again!”

Have you ever felt that way? Have you had an experience in your life that caused you to be hurt, wounded, or offended? I’m sure everyone has. It is a part of life in this present world. But I have wonderful news. There is a way to let go of that hurt, wounding and offense. You don’t have to carry hate and un-forgiveness around with you anymore. Those feelings came as a natural human re-action and you choose to allow them to operate in your soul – which is your will, your mind and your emotions. The Bible gives us clear instructions on how to deal with this. Let’s look at Jesus as our Way-shower. He shows us the way to deal with these hurts and offenses.

The greatest act of forgiveness occurred when Jesus’ persecutors heard these words from his lips, ‘Father forgive them for they know not what they do.’ (Luke 23:34)

How many times have we had some offense brought against us, and the first thing we think of is, “Father forgive them.” …I wonder.

Have you had someone really offend you in an act, or verbally, and think, ‘what in the world did I do to deserve this?’ Perhaps on this occasion you were not in the wrong but you took the offense. Just think about the times that God has forgiven you for not uttering words of forgiveness. Or maybe you were the offender and caused someone else to be wounded. Was it easy for you to admit the guilt and ask forgiveness? Have you ever been there?

In Galatians 6:7 we read, “Be not deceived: God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” I want to share with you how to learn to sow forgiveness so that you will be the recipient of forgiveness.

The Bible is full of teaching about forgiveness, and about those who have found it difficult to forgive. No doubt one of the most famous Bible verses is the one in which Peter asks Jesus, ‘Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times, but, Until seventy times seven.’ ( Matthew 18:21,22 KJ) Peter was asking the Lord just how many times must I tolerate someone coming against me? Was Jesus implying that after 490 times it was ok not to forgive?

We know that in the Bible seven indicates completeness. Jesus was teaching Peter that each time is the first time. Not only are we to operate in a continuing attitude of forgiveness, but also of forgetting. If you have forgiven the person and forgotten the incident -- then, if that same person repeats the offense – it would represent the first time that situation had come up. If you truly forgive and forget the incident, it would not be remembered as ever having happened.

There have been many opportunities for me to harbor un-forgiveness when I had been wronged over incidents that occurred. Yes! To forgive was difficult, but to forget was another matter. It was hard to forget the whole thing. Why is that? Because the enemy always wants to bring it up to you and keep you stirred up about it. That is the time you go to the Lord and repent and speak forgiveness. And guess what! In a few hours the enemy brings it back to your mind and the boiling starts up again. When that happens, what do you do? Do you listen to the whispers of Satan, take it in and allow your mind to stew over it? No! You do the Word. You submit to God and resist the enemy. You don’t ask God to take Satan away. Jesus has already defeated him. The Word of God says that You are to tell him, ‘No you don’t! You are a defeated foe. You do not have the power to stir up my mind on this. My mind is under the blood of Jesus and I refuse to accept your lies. Now go from me.’

In James 4:7 we read, ‘Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.’ If you believe the Word of God, and if you will speak the Word, resist him and tell him to go, he will go. However, the enemy does not give up easily. He will flee, but he will come back again to taunt you. Then is the time to laugh at him and remind him, ‘I said no. You go from me. That situation is over. I have forgiven and I will not allow you to bring it back to my remembrance.’ If you will do that, I guarantee he will fade away with all his lies and suggestions on that issue. Is it easy? No! However, you will get the victory, and victory is always a great joy!

Disciplining yourself to speak God’s Word over problems of any sort is never easy, but if you will learn to do this you can walk in victory day by day. That is real joy and peace!

It is not so much what we have endured, but how much Jesus endured for us and forgave us - which includes the many times we have sinned against our Father God; and yet, not only has He forgiven, but also forgotten it. He says ‘And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.” (Hebrews 10:17, KJ.)

I can think of no other Biblical person that suffered as much as Paul, and yet he wrote a letter to the church at Ephesus reminding them (and us) in Ephesians 1:7 “In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;”

Paul spent his life teaching the Gentiles that they could be Christians without becoming Jews. Needless to say, this was very displeasing to the Jews who claimed they believed Jesus was the Messiah. They were religious Jews and believed the Mosaic Law was binding upon all. They were bitterly prejudiced against the un-circumcised Gentiles who called themselves disciples of the Jewish Messiah – Jesus.

Paul did not want to see two churches; a Jewish church that believed Jesus was the coming Messiah, and a Gentile church. He wanted to see one church where Jews and Gentiles became one in Christ: one body, not two. To Paul, the Christ – the Anointed One -- was infinite in Being, in whom there was room, for people of different races, viewpoints and even prejudices. Jesus was the light and power of God. Jesus was the One that had the answer too all life’s problems. And He still is. He is the one to bring unity and harmony into every earthly situation and even into the infinite, unseen universe.

Now consider this: Paul, who has gone through great persecution, tribulation and suffering, is writing the Ephesians a letter from a jail cell in a Roman prison. How much more could Paul endure? He was aware of others walking around in freedom as they clung to hate and un-forgiveness, but none of these things ever swayed Paul from his message or his faithful stand with the Lord. My prayer is that each one who names Jesus as his or her Lord and Savior, will learn to stand in that kind of love, obedience and faith.

Lets look at some specific things we must do as we seek forgiveness from our heavenly Father.

1. It is helpful to identify people that you are annoyed with. We all have had opportunities with people that have left us angry and upset repeatedly. In the Ephesians Epistle Paul is instructing God’s people how to handle the anger, bitterness, and un-forgiveness. He writes: ‘Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.’ (Ephesians 4:31, 32.) Do you do that? If you hold on to the bitterness, wrath, anger and un-forgiveness, it only makes you more miserable, and the other person goes on their merry way. However, if you will follow his instructions it will relieve you of headaches, and many other anguishing and distressing physical problems.

Deep-rooted anger and un-forgiveness are a like a cancer eating away within the body. They are very destructive to the natural, human body. If you want to walk in the blessing of health, you must confront the roadblock of anger and un-forgiveness and begin to do what the Word tells you to do. Resist the devil. Understand that he is the one suggesting the anger, hatred and un-forgiveness. When we identify those with whom we have this deep anger and un-forgiveness, and release the anger, by commanding it to go from us and not return -- we have freed ourselves from the bitterness of un-forgiveness and the possible illness it brings with it. To make this an easier task, think about the many times God has forgiven you, loves you, and still calls you his child.

This is a discipline we all have to learn, because there are strongholds within us of bad attitudes, depression that yields to the hatred, habits of thinking, and even generational behavior. Yes, things passed down from generation to generation; and until someone learns it can be stopped and comes against it according to God’s Word, those behavior patterns continue to be passed down. Once corrected they stop.

2. Do you ruminate on what you think the person owes you? All right, so you have been mistreated and offended. What about the child whose father left home and was never seen again? Or what about the divorce that took your children away and now it seems impossible for you to have any in-depth relationship with them? What about the time someone has spent in jail but is not guilty for what they have been charged? There are numerous incidents that can be related; but in each one, what is the debt that is owed that person? Can you make up in money or time the father that left and perhaps cheated you out of a life where dad was there to see you in your high school games? Or, when you played in the band or were a cheerleader? Is there anything that can be paid or owed to make up for all the years there was no mom and dad team working together to teach children about God’s love?

What about Paul who was unjustly accused and sent to serve time in prison without a trial and a Roman citizen at that? How do you make up for that? Jesus tells us he will never leave us or forsake us; and yet how often have we let Jesus down because there was something we thought we needed, or felt we could do without His help and guidance. Paul always had His Lord Jesus before His eye and that took him through every hardship. Can we do less?

3. Finally, we need to cancel the debt. There is no way we can make up to Jesus the times we have disappointed him. Jesus never hangs over our head any debt to be paid. He paid it all, so let us learn to repent of any wrong. This repentance must be from the depth of ones heart; a repentance that really is sorrowful and wants to change and walk His walk of love. There He is with open arms welcoming us back. Let us be like the prodigal son that spent all of his inheritance in immoral living, but finally repented and came back to his father, a totally changed man.

4. There is one other thing we need to think about. When a child grows up in a home where there may be abuse of some sort and has a miserable childhood, he may think in his mind, ‘Boy, when I grow up I’m not going to treat my kids the way I’ve been treated.’ And yet it is a proven fact that in almost every case they grow up and are a carbon copy of their father or mother, and are abusive in some form to their children. Why is that? Because they have never forgiven that parent; and until they come to grips with the situation and forgive, the bitterness, anger and un-forgiveness remains deep in their soul and it will continue on thru the family line, generation after generation until someone comes to know Jesus and His message of forgiveness. Then and only then will that tragic family situation be stopped and a loving home be established.

Why do you think abuse continues from one generation to the next? Because the child that has never forgiven, holds that abuse in his mind and believes it. What we believe is what we receive, good or bad. So as long as that person continues to believe the abuse in his childhood, and it is real in his heart, and he keeps kindling it in his mind, it will manifest itself in his or her life and go on thru out the generations.

Until he (or she) can learn how to forgive and then really forget -- allow the Lord to remove it from his soul or mind - it will continue to manifest itself in his life. Do you understand this vital point? This is so important. We must be the ones to break those family problem areas and see to it they stop now and forever. You be the one to recognize it and say, ‘No more Satan! Not in this family. I command you, in the name of Jesus, to leave and never return.’

Remember, deep-rooted anger and un-forgiveness that lies deep in ones soul, will eventually eat away at your body physically. Even some in the medical profession today are saying that many cancers are deep-rooted un-forgiveness eating away within the body.

Jesus is the only one that can help release you from these lies of Satan. Turn to Him and He will give you perfect freedom. So the next time the enemy comes and whispers to you, ‘Don’t you remember what so-and-so did to you?’ Just say, ‘No I don’t. That person is dead. I am a new creation in Christ and I remember only His word, so you can just take your lies and go from me.’ Take Ephesians 4:32 put it into action. ‘And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.’

Jesus speaks to us in John 13:34. ‘A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.’ When we are willing and ready to forgive our fellow man, we are acting on the greatest commandments that Jesus gave us; to love God with all our heart, soul and mind and to love our neighbor as ourselves. When we can truly forgive, we can rest in knowing our Father God has forgiven us. This is real peace – heaven here on earth!